The Way Back
by nahnah4
Summary: In the year 2024 Quinn wakes up and finds herself in a hospital without a clue of what happened. She's supposed to be somewhere else doing something important: impeding Rachel Berry's wedding. Set immediately after "On my way" then it's AU. Two time frames, one story. Faberry with lots of Brittana.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I wrote this a while ago and just found it in my computer, so I decided to upload this little prologue and see how it goes.

* * *

_St. Vincent Medical Center, Intensive Cares Unit, Room 1506 – October 22nd, 2024_

_LA, California_

**_Quinn_**

Out of nothing you hear it again, those three musical notes creating a very childish melody. Immediately, anxiety starts spreading all over your body because you know you've been hearing it for a while now, and you want to follow it so bad, but you just can't get any closer. The melody always dies in the distance, and you haven't solved the mystery of its presence.

Somehow; this time, it feels pretty different, this time, you feel that it's possible and that you can find the way to get closer to this unreachable sound. So you give it a try and it actually works, the melody is clearer now and it reminds you of something, the downside is that you can't remember what exactly that is, but it feels warm and welcoming.

You doubt for a while, but decide to keep trying and get even closer. It works again. This time the melody invades you and the anxiety fully disappears. Memories are trying to come and you can feel them. You can feel those tender arms wrapping you completely while swaying from side to side, and then you hear it; it's your mom's singing voice.

You never want to leave this place, not now that you're feeling something, the fact is you haven't felt anything for what seems to be a long time, but you get curious for what you can find, and again, you gather the courage to get closer. It hurts, first because you can't hear your mom's voice again, and then because realization hits you: you were dreaming, but not anymore.

You come to your senses and the first thing you physically feel is the softness of the surface where you are laying, this gives you the idea of proportion and how much space your body is occupying. The softness increases at one point, you suppose under your head, and you try to remember the word; it's a pillow, and a big fluffy one.

The next sense that activates gives you no surprise because it just repeats the sound you have been hearing all this time, but now that you are able to make connections, you start listening. The melody is the same, but the origin of it it's definitively not a voice, it's an instrument; and just when you are trying to find the right name for it, it stops.

You feel yourself losing track again, that melody was the anchor holding you here. Time passes, no more than a minute you estimate, when suddenly, something new, warm and completely amazing happens. The new physical feeling is so overwhelming that it reminds you of a new sense you haven't used yet, so you go for it. Nervously and smoothly is how you manage to open your eyes.

The light is too much for you to get used to, so you find the perfect fine line of sight with your eyes almost closed that allows you to recognize your surroundings. The first thing you see is the source of that physical contact, your hand covered by another hand, but this one is considerably smaller than yours and the skin is a little tanned. You follow the tiny arm up with your eyes just to find the cutest face. This little girl was staring at you curiously, but you can't avoid appreciate her physical appearance, her hair is dark brown and wavy, held by a skinny yellow headband, her eyes are hazel and her cheeks are chubby. She is adorable, you think, but the moment her smirk caught your attention is when you make another connection, she definitively reminds you of someone, but you immediately discard that idea. It's impossible.

You take a deep breath before analyzing your surroundings, now that your eyes allow you to have a bigger view, everything looks so clean, the walls, the floor, even the air smells like disinfectant, the medical equipment by your right side that keeps beeping every few seconds makes you stop wondering: it's a hospital. A hospital. Why are you in a hospital? How long have you been here? And who is this little girl in front of you? You try to remember, but nothing comes to your mind.

First things first. Name: Lucy Quinn Fabray, Age: Seventeen, Parents: Judy and Russell Fabray, School: McKinley High... _Rachel_, the name pops in your head and you stop thinking. She's about to get married and you need to stop it, in fact, you were on your way to the chapel but somehow ended up asleep somewhere and now you're in a hospital. You have to get on your feet and leave. Now. But when you try to get up it surprises you that only your back lifts a bit, it's impossible to move your legs, you can't even feel them at all.

You start panicking, and that somehow must have transmitted through your eyes because the little girl quickly removed her hand from yours and stares at you scared, you want to comfort her, you need to keep her around, she may be the only one who can tell you what in god's name is going on. "Wait!" you barely spoke with a voice you don't even recognize as yours, but she is faster and starts running towards the door. Before she leaves you can hear her screaming: "Tía Rachel, Aunt Q woke up!".

* * *

So, if you like it please review! Just the prologue will be in second person, the rest of the chapters in other people's POV (including Quinn), and each chapter will jump between 2012 and 2024 in order to explain how everything happens. Also, so sorry if there are any mistakes, english isn't my first language. Hope you liked it!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews, follows and alerts! I know I said that I'll introduce other people's POV, but I think I'll stick with just Quinn's POV for chapters in the future and Rachel's POV to explain what happened in the past. Here's chapter 2 :)

* * *

_Justice of the Peace – February 21st, 2012_

_Lima, Ohio_

_**Rachel's POV**_

"Rachel, are you ok?" Tina was the first to cut the silence.

"Please Rachel say something!" Mercedes said with a desperate voice.

"Rach, the guys are taking care of him, he can't hurt you anymore" Kurt grabbed my hand.

"Stop tormenting her! She needs to calm down first" sitting in another couch with Brittany by her side, Santana stated.

I was in complete shock and hadn't spoken or moved at all after the guys left with Finn. Not even fifteen minutes had passed after I broke up with him in front of everyone, and Puck had to interfere when Finn grabbed both of my wrists and dragged me a few meters through the hallway trying to force me to get married with him.

* * *

"_It's now or never Rachel" Finn rushed me "In three minutes we'll lose our turn"._

_Everyone stared at me waiting for an answer._ _Is this the way I should feel minutes before getting married with the supposed love of my life? Pressured, without knowing what to do and, above all, having second thoughts. Definitely not. "Then I guess… it's never" I said with a trembling voice._

"_What? No! You're kidding! Everyone is here, our families are outside waiting for us and we've not made all these future plans together for nothing, we can't delay the wedding anymore!" Finn was at the edge, he kept yelling at me and I was on the verge of tears, Kurt got up and tried to hold me but I stopped him, I had to say it now._

_"You don't understand, Finn, it's never going to happen, you've only proposed to me because you ran out of options for your future and you needed something to hold on to, and I blinded myself with the idea of being engaged, and all grown up, I even lost focus on my own dreams… but that's not what true love is about" I took out the engagement ring from my left ring finger. "Quinn was right, I have to let go". I placed the ring on the coffee table beside us. That's all he needed to lose his mind._

* * *

I could've focused my attention on his aggressive behavior, or in the fact that Puck jumped in front of me to stop his actions, or in the fight between them afterwards. But once my wrists got released from his grip, above all the yelling and chaos, I just stood there thinking about how inappropriate all of this was. This wedding was a huge mistake, and I hadn't listened to a word that some of the most important people in my life have been telling me: my dads, Kurt, Mercedes… and then there she was, the person who had insisted the most for me to desist this wedding: Quinn. I'm so relieved that everything is over now.

Suddenly, thinking about her made my chest hurt. Why wasn't she here already? Her last reply said: "On my way", it shouldn't have taken her more than ten minutes to get here, but that was over half an hour ago. Something must have happened to her.

I stretched towards the coffee table to grab my cell phone; my movements were so sudden that everyone else in the room shuddered. I checked my phone but there were no new messages or missed calls. I dialed Quinn, it rang one, two, three times, but she didn't answer, it reached the voice mail and I hung up.

"Quinn should be here already" I announced and everyone stared at me with weird looks on their faces. That was clearly an unexpected first statement after backing off from a wedding.

"I don't want to sound rough or insensitive, but, as I said a while ago, she's not going to come" Santana stated. She was extremely positive about it, and I couldn't help but think she knew something I didn't.

"Can we talk?" I asked her, avoiding the surprised glares of Kurt and Mercedes for the fact that the first person I wanted to talk with was Santana and not one of them. Even Santana opened her eyes showing some disbelief in the words that just came out of my mouth.

"You want to talk to me?"

"Yes. Can we go outside?" I stood up and motioned for her to come along.

"Okay" She agreed not so sure and got up after leaving her purse on Brittany's lap.

We walked towards the courtyard and sat on a bench, I breathed deeply, I was in need of fresh air. Instead, a cigarette and a lighter immediately appeared in Santana's hands.

"Hope it doesn't bother but that was way too much tension, you should try one" Santana held the open pack of cigarettes in front of me for a few seconds and I was very tempted to smoke for the first time in my life if that meant I could get a break after everything that happened, but I found myself rejecting the offer and shaking my head. Santana rolled her eyes and stored the package before lighting up her cigarette. She was about to say something but I interjected.

"How did you know Quinn wasn't coming?"

Santana let out the smoke and looked at me deeply. "Seriously you have no idea, right?"

"Just let me know if Quinn told you she wouldn't come, I'm worried sick about her because she doesn't answer her phone and if her last text was true then she should have arrived long time ago" I began to despair because she didn't understand the anxiety I had.

"You really care about her" Santana said.

"Oh, you think?" I said sarcastically.

"I knew that Quinn wasn't coming to your wedding because if I were in her position, I wouldn't come either". She finally answered ignoring my irony.

I instantly lost track of the conversation, clearly Santana was talking about something else. "Why?" I asked in fear of her response.

Santana thought for a moment before answering. "A few weeks ago Quinn went to the cheerleaders' lockers room looking for Brittany and me, she said she needed to talk with us, normally I would have ignored her because we haven't been that close since her bizarre stage with the pink hair... but her red eyes and the seriousness in her face made me worried". She stopped there.

"What did she tell you?" I asked curious.

"That's not for me to say" She said sharply.

"Then why are you telling me all this?"

"Because I think you already know it, or at least you can foresee it" My face showed no understanding and Santana became exasperated "Think about the last time you talked with her, it was after regionals right?" I nodded. "She told you almost everything with her eyes; I cannot believe you haven't deciphered it at that time".

Images started coming to my mind about the last moment I shared with Quinn, after our victory at Regionals.

* * *

_"When you were singing that song... you were singing it to Finn and only Finn, right? He really just makes you so happy?"_

_I slightly nodded; a little confused by the way she formulated the question._

"_I want to support you, Rachel"_

_Her eyes looked watery and she kept blinking to cover it up. For a moment I thought she was holding something back by the way her lips curled._

"… _and come to the wedding, if it's not too late"_

_Her approval was really important to me, so the moment she said those words I gave her a big smile and shook my head before giving her a warm hug without any kind of warning. I heard a gasp, a sad one, but I ignored it._

* * *

I felt completely stupid. Everything was so clear now and I'd acted so selfish.

"Oh my god, all this time, she..." I couldn't finish the sentence. "Why didn't she say anything?"

"Rachel, it took me three years to gather the courage and tell Brittany how I feel, Quinn has just discovered this part of her life and her feelings for you" Her words made me feel something warm in the pit of my stomach, Quinn Fabray was in love with me.

"I need to talk to her" I stood up and started walking towards the exit of the building.

"Hey, wait up!" I stopped my pace and turned around to face Santana again "Do you really think it's normal to be walking down the streets with high heels and wearing a wedding dress? Seriously, Berry?"

"I don't even know what I'm doing anymore" I sobbed, I was really overwhelmed and confused.

Santana gave me a sympathetic look and placed a comforting hand over my shoulder. "It's ok, I can take you to her place if you want, my car's in the parking lot" I was about to thank her when she interjected "but before we leave I have a request for you" all of a sudden she seemed a little shy "I know you might not feel the same way about Quinn, I mean you're not even…" Though she didn't say the word, I understood she meant to say _lesbian_, she was still struggling with it "-anyway what I'm trying to say is please be as sensitive and careful as you can when you reject her... last year it sort of happened to me and that was the worst"

I'd never seen her being so honest and open with another person that wasn't Brittany, and I kind of felt thankful with her for that. Still, when she said the word -reject- it was impossible for me to think of a scenario where I could be able to hurt Quinn that way.

"Rachel, your dads are asking for you, they're waiting inside" Brittany got out to the courtyard and stood beside us. Santana didn't expect her sudden presence and gave a little surprised jump when she heard her voice; after all, it was Brittany who she'd been talking about.

"I really don't want to get inside again, I'm not ready to answer all of their questions and face everybody, besides… I have to be with someone else right now" I stated.

"Someone else as... Quinn?" Brittany asked and I nodded. "I knew you'll find out soon or later" she smiled.

"Well, I don't know if it's soon or late but I really need to talk to her now"

"We should get going then, I have some clothes in my car you can wear" Santana offered and I thanked her.

"What should I tell to your dads then?" Brittany asked.

"You won't have to say anything Britt, we need your driving skills right now" Brittany acceded and nodded. They held hands and we started walking towards the parking lot.

We got inside Santana's white Audi convertible. Brittany took off her shoes and put on a black pair of converse sneakers, then she closed the roof of the car to allow Santana and I change our clothes while she drove. I have to say I'm impressed; she speeded up the car and exceeded the bumps like a pro.

After struggling for a while I finally succeeded in removing the wedding dress from my body and put on a striped t-shirt and a pair of denim shorts instead, definitively not my style, but I can't be picky right now. I was tying the yellow sneakers that I guessed were Brittany's, when suddenly the car stopped.

"What is it? Why we stopped?" I asked without raising my gaze from the shoelaces.

"It seems like there's been an accident, there's a truck in the middle of the highway, I'll go find out" Santana said before getting out of the car.

"I'm coming with you". Brittany stated and left the car too.

"Hurry!" I shouted from the window.

Minutes went by but they didn't come back. All I could see from the window were two police cars, three cops taking some notes and speaking between them, and a small group of people around a truck with a dented front. I was about to go find them, but then I caught a glimpse of them walking back in the distance. However, they didn't seem to be doing fine, Brittany was holding Santana, and they were barely walking. Without even thinking, I was already running towards them. As I got closer, I realized they were crying and fear came over me.

"Hey, what's wrong? what-?" I turned my sight to the origin of the accident; behind the truck there was a red car completely smashed, I wasn't sure, but it looked a lot like a Volkswagen Beetle... just like Quinn's car. My heart stopped for a second.

Santana raised her face from Brittany's neck and stared at me with deep grief in her eyes. "It's Quinn. Her car was hit while she drove".

"They've taken her to the nearest hospital, she's badly injured" Brittany complemented while rubbing her eyes and comforting Santana.

If at some point I believed that things happened for a reason, now I was completely against that statement. Quinn did not deserve this at all, and right now I hate myself. I hate myself for texting her an hour ago, I hate myself because I'm sure her car was hit while she texted me back, and I hate myself more than ever, because this stupid wedding was the main cause of Quinn's wounds.


	3. Chapter 3

N/A: Again, thanks for the reviews, favorites and alerts! I know it took me longer to update, I'm sorry, there was a lot to explain in this chapter and my week has been chaotic, hope this long update makes up for it a bit. I also want to say that I really have a plot prepared for this story and would definitely keep updating as long as you guys are interested. Anyway, here's chapter 3, hope you like it!

* * *

_St. Vincent Medical Center, Intensive Cares Unit, Room 1506 – October 22nd, 2024_

_LA, California_

_**Quinn's POV**_

Being alone in an unknown hospital room after waking up from the weirdest dream I ever had and with my legs inexplicably immobilized was definitely frightening. I really wanted to get up and leave this place, but I barely managed to sit up with the help of the bed side rails.

I remembered what the little girl said before leaving, she called me 'Aunt Q' but I don't think I've ever met her, she also said Rachel's name and I hope that means she's somewhere around here, if she is then she might be able to give me an explanation of what's going on, but first I must figure a way to bring her inside this room since my legs won't let me go find her.

"Rachel!" I started calling her without even thinking about it, my voice still sounded strange so I coughed a few times before calling her again, louder this time. "Rachel, are you here?"

Immediately, hurried footsteps approached the room and eagerness filled me, however, when the door opened Rachel wasn't there. A doctor and two nurses were the ones who got inside, one of them pushing a trolley full of surgical instruments. The nurses stared at me perplexed, as if I were from a completely different species, it made me feel a little intimidated. The doctor, for a change, looked very focused and confident on his task. I tried to contain the avalanche of questions inside me, but it was impossible.

"Why am I here? What happened?" I asked, the nurses exchanged looks thinking how to answer, but the doctor, while checking the screen of the medical equipment next to me, spoke first.

"Not a word" he ordered and the nurses obeyed.

"Why can't I move my legs?" I insisted. The nurses looked at me with sympathy and pity, but still didn't answer, that just filled me with anger. "Stop ignoring me!" I shouted at them.

"You've been in a car accident" the doctor finally explained, but that was all he said before holding my head and pointing a flashlight to my eyes in order to check my pupillary reflex.

I stopped talking for a minute trying to process what he'd just said, is the car accident the reason why I can't feel my lower extremities? Does that mean I won't be able to walk again? I felt a hole in my chest. I hate this. I hate not being able to understand anything at all! I tried to get rid from his grip and keep asking, but instantly the two nurses moved towards me to stop my actions and I had to remain unmoving.

"Why can't I feel my legs?" I asked again trying to calm down, but clearly I wasn't going to get more information from them as they ignored me completely. I couldn't take it any longer, I needed to hear a reassuring answer or at least see a familiar face. "Answer me, please!" I shouted again even though my voice cracked and tears appeared in the corner of my eyes.

"Quinn, you need to calm down" The doctor said before giving a sign to one of the nurses, she immediately left my side to prepare an injection on the trolley. That only increased my fears.

"Quinn!" The door was forced open and finally the face I've been longing to see since I woke up made its way through the door. "Let me in!" Rachel yelled at the male nurse who was preventing her from getting closer. Somehow she managed to punch him in the stomach and release herself for a second, enough time for her to move towards me.

"Miss, I'm really sorry but you are not allowed to be in here, she's not ready yet" The other nurse tried to stop her but she avoided her and reached my bed.

"Quinn..." She was so shocked to see me that she had to stop her pace and stare at me.

I couldn't help staring at her as well, my attention was mostly fixed in her eyes because they had a special sparkle, the same they always had but in a whole other level, full of knowledge and experience. Her physical appearance also seemed to have changed as there were no light colors in her garment anymore. She was wearing a fitted black dress, a stylish gray coat, and a pair of black pumps. Those clothes made her look undeniably beautiful, but incredibly adult. I had a lot of questions inside my head that I needed to ask her, but I was left speechless and forgot them all. The only thing I managed to do was raising my hand in order to hold hers. She gasped before grabbing it, and then started crying.

"Thank you Lord" she mumbled.

"I'm really sorry Rachel, I understand, but I must ask you to leave the room" The doctor interrupted and motioned for her to leave, but she didn't move. "Rachel, I need to share a few words with you outside" He continued.

"Let her stay, please" I begged. Nevertheless, he kept ignoring me and tried to separate us by grabbing her arm and pulling from it. That was it. "Don't touch her!" I ordered firmly. He immediately lost his grip on her and Rachel lowered her gaze.

"I'm sorry" He said without looking at me and gave a sign to someone outside. Right away, the male nurse that Rachel dodged a minute ago got inside the room along with a partner.

"Rachel, go" The thought of her being dragged outside made me feel helpless.

"I don't want to" she said strongly, her eyes never leaving my face.

"We're really sorry Miss" The male nurse said before grabbing one of her arms, his partner immediately took the other one making it impossible for our hands to hold each other any longer.

"Leave her!" I tried to yell and stop them, but somehow I felt myself loosing strength, my entire body was starting to fall apart. -Not again, please- I internally pleaded. I turned my gaze to the right and saw how the nurse finished emptying a shot in the serum attached to my left hand. I was being sedated.

"I'll be here, Quinn. I'm not leaving!" Rachel said before being taken out of the room, the other nurses also left, the doctor was the only one inside the room with me now.

"You need some real rest tonight, we'll check on you in the morning" He said, letting me stare at his face for the first time, he looked young, 35 years tops.

"But I just woke up" I retorted with the last drops of energy I had left. He just breathed out and ignored me one last time before leaving.

My eyelids started to get heavier by the second. I battled against falling asleep for a while but it was useless, so I just tried to reach a comfortable position in the hospital bed in advance with the slight hope that maybe I'd wake in my own bed the next morning. The last thing I could catch a glimpse of was a white upright piano in the corner of the room, it must've been the instrument used to play that melody stuck in my head all this time. Then my eyes were closed again.

* * *

_St. Vincent Medical Center, Intensive Cares Unit, Room 1506 – October 23rd, 2024_

_LA, California_

The first thing I felt when I woke up the next morning was a huge disappointment, what happened last night has been nothing but real. Here I was, trapped in this hospital room after suffering a car accident I wasn't able to recall and with the legs still paralyzed.

I couldn't help but think how much time I had been unconscious, probably no longer than couple of days as I'd seen on TV shows, but it was still strange that the doctor and nurses ignored almost all of my questions, in fact, they seemed to be careful with the words used while speaking to me.

Then there was Rachel, the only familiar face from last night. She was so full of joy and relief when she first saw me that the only reason I found to explain her reaction was that the car accident occurred while I was driving to her wedding, that was the last memory I had anyway. I made a mental note to tell her that she shouldn't feel guilty, it was all just me being stupid. It hurt to think about it, certainly Rachel was Mrs. Hudson now and that's probably why she looked so different, I had failed to arrive on time and stop her, but maybe it was for the best.

I decided to focus my attention elsewhere and wait for someone to come, otherwise I'd probably end up insane. It was difficult again, but I managed to sit up in bed the same way as last time. I turned my gaze to the window, it had the curtains open allowing the small room to be lit by the morning light. I looked at my surroundings much more carefully and could only conclude that this was a quite modern hospital, since the technology around me seemed to be the ultimate.

"Good morning, Quinn" Suddenly the door opened and the same doctor from last night entered the room. "I'm Dr. Gibson by the way, but you can just call me Leo" He expected an answer but I just stared at him. He sighed. "I'm sure you have thousands of questions right now and I promise we'll answer them all today".

"About time" I grumbled and he smiled.

"But first, I want to apologize for my behavior yesterday" He continued, "It was really -unexpected- that you wake up". That sounded weird; did he expect me to stay asleep forever?

"Did you say unexpected?"

"Yes" he nodded, "But don't worry, there's someone who knows you very well that will be here to explain everything to you in the best way possible, I'm sure you'll be more comfortable that way"

"Is it mom?" If I needed someone to comfort me there was no better person than her and I actually wanted to see her now.

"Well, that's the bad part, besides myself you'll only be allowed to interact with one person for the time being" He explained. "...and your mom is not that person".

"So I'm not allowed to see my own mother?" I asked absolutely irritated, this was more than expected.

"The last thing I want is to socially challenge you right now" He said.

"I assure you that seeing my mother won't be a social challenge at all" I stated, he was talking nonsense.

The doctor was left speechless but still determined. Seconds later, he walked some steps towards the bed and I quickly moved my upper body away from him, but all he did once he stood in front of me was placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"You have to trust me, believe me, all I want is the best for you and your health." He fixed his gaze on mine and all I could find in those blue eyes was real commitment. If his way was the only way possible to move forward, then I guess I'll have to take it. I slightly nodded. "Good. That person is your friend Rachel by the way" He continued "And she'll be here once you finish eating breakfast" with that he left.

Not even ten minutes passed when a nurse came in and placed a bed tray stuffed with food on my lap. There was a glass of lowfat milk, oatmeal, slices of white bread, a package of cream cheese, a small pot of jam and an apple. I didn't feel like eating at first, but once I tried a bite of the cheese and jam sandwich I practically devoured the entire tray, it felt really good to savor different textures and flavors. As soon as I finished eating, the same nurse entered the room and picked up the tray, I had to ask how did she knew that I was done, but she just smiled and left without saying a word. Clearly the doctor -Leo- wasn't kidding, I couldn't even talk to the nurses.

Someone knock the door then, but I already knew who it was. My face broke into a smile.

"Come in!"

Rachel got inside and closed the door behind her. The first thing I noticed when I saw her was how different she looked compared to last night. Today, her bangs were more defined than ever and she was wearing a coral dress Audrey Hepburn style combined with white mary jane heels. Definitely the same Rachel as always.

"Hi, Quinn!" She looked a little nervous at first, but then she walked towards my bed matching my smile and placed a cute flower arrangement on the bedside table. "This is from your mom" she explained while fixing the flowers a little.

"Thank you, but did she really agree with all this nonsense?" I asked.

Rachel looked at me before taking a seat by my side on the bed and motioned for me to place my right hand between hers, I didn't doubt it for a second.

"She really wishes to be here with you, but also she understands that this is necessary, she's beyond happy that you're fine now," she bent her neck and the weight of her head was transferred to my shoulder "Just like I am" I noticed a heavy emotional burden in her last words, which reminds me...

"Rachel, you don't need to feel guilty at all, I'm sure the accident was caused by some stupid decision I made while driving" I reassured her and she immediately faced me.

"I'm not here with you out of guilt, let's make that clear" She quickly replied. I was amazed by her reaction, never meant to say that, although it was good to hear. "Sorry, I didn't want to snap at you".

"It's okay" I replied and then the room was filled with silence. I couldn't hold it any longer. "The doctor, I mean, Leo said that you're here to solve all of my doubts". Rachel immediately shuddered at my statement, but then nodded.

"That's correct, you ask and I'll answer" she replied. "Where do you want to start?" That was an easy question.

"My legs" I placed my hands on them. I couldn't feel anything from my feet to up above the knees.

"Fine" She positioned herself in front of me, but still sat on the bed. "You were really bad damaged in the accident Quinn, your spine was compromised and a surgery intervention was required, otherwise we'd probably lose you" she stared at the bedspread for a moment and then continued, "however, the doctor explained the possible outcomes, one of them was that your legs may not be able to work again".

"I knew it!" I hit the mattress with a fist interrupting her. I didn't need to hear anymore.

"Quinn wait, there are good news about it" Rachel tried to comfort me, but I couldn't stop picturing myself in a wheelchair. "Listen to me, recent studies may be able help you, besides the last tests ran on you showed that your case is not that severe, Leo can show you the scans later".

I just stared at my hands rubbing my knees. How can I be sure of that? I thought about Artie and his never ending hope on walking again even though everybody knows it won't happen. It was remarkable, but I didn't want to become like him.

Rachel raised my chin and cleaned a couple of tears from my face. I didn't even realize that I was crying. "You'll walk again, I promise".

"How do you know that?"

"Because I know that if you really want something and believe in yourself, then you're going to make it happen" She spoke to me with an impressive confidence, as if she had experienced it firsthand, and just like yesterday she left me speechless.

She must have noticed my lack of response, so she looked down pretending to fix a nonexistent wrinkle in her dress. "We can move on if you want" She said and I agreed.

"How long was I unconscious?" That was another of my concerns, there wasn't a calendar in the room and I needed to locate myself in time.

Rachel sighed and her smile appeared again, this time a sad one. "After the surgery we didn't know how long it would take you to wake up, you were pretty badly injured Quinn, your life was in serious danger".

"Was I in a coma?" It was the first thought that came to my mind and I got scared instantly, maybe that was what Leo referred when he said it was unexpected that I wake up.

"Sort of…yes" Rachel finally admitted.

"How long?"

"A couple of days"

"You're lying" I could tell by the way she said it, she wasn't even staring at me.

Rachel took a deep breath before raising her gaze to face me. "You've been unconscious for a month" She admitted.

"A month?" That was definitely more than I expected, "What is today's date?" She shivered and thought for a moment, a little too much for just remembering the date.

"March 26th… 2012"

I can't believe I've been unconscious for an entire month. How much did I miss? Rachel tried to update me with everything that happened these last weeks: Beth was doing great with Shelby in New York, Brittany surprised everyone when she got an A+ on her Science test, and I couldn't hold a laugh at the fact that Puck got beaten up by the husband of one of his cougars.

However, I stopped laughing when I noticed something missing on Rachel's left hand and I had to ask.

"Where's your wedding band?" She went blank for a second.

"You were right Quinn...I regretted last minute" was all she said.

I knew she'd make the best choice for herself, after all, I really never had the need to impede her wedding and I couldn't help the tingle in my stomach. _Oh god, she didn't get married._

We spent the following couple of hours talking about random stuff and enjoying each other's company. By lunch time, a nurse came in with another bed tray filled with food and I had to beg Rachel to go to the cafeteria and get something for herself. When she came back, Leo was in the room with me explaining the schedule I'll have for the rest of the week, it was no surprise for me to know that I had to stay interned.

* * *

The next day before breakfast a nurse came in and brought a wheelchair with her, I flinched. She helped me sit on it and talked to me exclusively for giving instructions on how to use it, she also indicated that the bathroom was already adapted and I could be able to use it by myself. I noticed there wasn't a single mirror in the room so I asked for one, but she just pursed her lips, shook her head and gave me an apologetic look.

Rachel arrived exactly on time for my first physical therapy. The therapist also restricted her words to explain a few exercises, I had to lift my legs and bent the knees while lying on bed. She recommended doing it at least a couple of times per day and Rachel gladly offered to help as it was impossible for me to do it alone. Once physical therapy finished, I was immediately taken to the room adjacent where there was a large machine with the shape of a tube -a tomograph- one of the doctors said. It took them around three hours to finish running the scan with me inside it. By the afternoon I was finally able to get some rest and Rachel surprised me with a couple of books from her collection since she knew that I'd probably get bored stuck in here.

Practically the whole week went by like this, physical therapy in the mornings and later some routine tests. The exams turned out fine and by the weekend I was already able to feel and move my toes. Leo assured me that I'd be walking in less than a month. Rachel always arrived punctually after breakfast and left only when visiting hours ended, never before. I tried to convince her not to miss more classes but she said that Figgins had granted her a special permit so I didn't need to worry about it. She also got me a TV placed in the room, I'm not allowed to watch any channels, but she cleverly brought some movies and a DVD player with her, it was a bit battered, but perfect for watching a movie at night.

Somehow, I started to get used to this, having Rachel's company these days have been awesome and it made me feel much calmer, she was always so attentive and caring that it was impossible for me not to secretly fall in love with her even more. However, I knew that I wouldn't stay like this forever and once I finally recover and leave the hospital everything will go back to normal, Rachel and I won't spend more time than necessary together. I can't get my hopes up, in fact, I never had a chance with her at all.

By Monday afternoon, six days after I woke up, Rachel and I were watching one of her favorite movies, a classic, "Casablanca", when someone knocked the door.

"Hi girls! Rachel can I talk to you for a minute?" Leo asked.

"Sure" she said before leaving the room with him.

It was definitely strange, if he had anything to say then he could've said in front of me as well. There was no reason for him to talk to Rachel about something that didn't involve me, so I figured there was something wrong, probably he had bad news about my latest exams. It took her about an hour to finally come back, but she said nothing about it and I didn't gather the courage to ask.

* * *

_St. Vincent Medical Center, Intensive Cares Unit, Room 1506 – October 30th, 2024_

_LA, California_

This is the first time that Rachel hasn't arrived on time. I'd already finished breakfast like an hour ago and decided to read a few chapters of Catching Fire while sitting in the wheelchair waiting for her to arrive, but there was no sign of her. I started to worry, maybe it has something to do with yesterday's weird conversation between her and Leo, but there was nothing I could do, I was under strict confinement and everytime I tried to escape from the room, a nurse noticed and sent me back in.

Finally, someone knocked the door and I instantly rolled and opened it.

"I'm so sorry Quinn, I'm late" Rachel said nervously.

At the moment she entered the room, I thought I was seeing the same Rachel from last week when I awoke, the adult one. She was wearing a high waisted tube skirt, a sleeveless blouse and high heel sandals. On top of all, her makeup was completely different as she used a darker palette and her bangs were pushed to the side. I was left completely confused.

"Why did you change your look all of a sudden?" I blurted out without thinking. "I mean, you look..."

"Adult?" she finished what I meant to say and I nodded. She stared at her feet for a moment and then took a deep breath as in gathering courage. "We need to talk" she finally stated and raised her gaze.

"Something is wrong with me, right?" I was sure of it.

"No Quinn, not at all" she quickly replied, "In fact, you're just becoming healthier by the second" she smiled and placed a hand above my shoulder "and I'm sure you'll exceed every obstacle in your way" she reassured.

"I don't understand" she just left me even more confused.

"Come here" she sat on the bed and motioned for me to place my wheelchair in front of her, now we were equal height and facing each other. "Honey, I need you to listen and don't interrupt, okay?"

"Okay" I agreed and anxiety spread all over me.

"We needed to make sure that you were okay and emotionally stable during this first week" she started "yesterday, Leo told me that you were officially ready to know something we've been hiding from you" she grabbed both of my hands and held them firmly together with hers "your entire family and some friends are out there anxiously waiting to come inside and see you, but you must understand that they've changed, actually we've all changed... including you and me" a tear was shed down her face "because you haven't been in a coma for a month sweetheart, you've been sleeping for twelve years".

* * *

**Please review! I'm sorry for the cliffhanger, I just couldn't help myself :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Life completely stood in the way for me to finish this chapter.**

* * *

**_St. Rita's Medical Center – February 22nd, 2012_**

**_Lima, Ohio _**

**Rachel's POV**

No one got me to go home, not even Quinn's mom, so I stayed with her in vigil through the night, alert to any further information about Quinn. In the morning one of the physicians announced that a surgery was necessary, highly risky, but vital, so Judy had to give her consent with her heart in a knot.

In the midst of the operation Santana and Brittany returned with all of our friends from glee, I could say that the waiting room was pretty much without room left.

About an hour passed before I noticed Finn's absence.

Three hours later, the wait was over.

"Quinn Fabray?" the surgeon finally came out to the waiting area.

"I'm her mother, doctor" Judy instantly jumped from her seat and went over him, I found myself standing right behind her.

"Alright Mrs. Fabray, I'm Dr. Wilson" he offered his hand politely and she took it, "the operation was successful, we were able to align the compromised bones back again and fix the fracture-dislocation. However, a spinal fracture is different than a broken arm or leg, Quinn suffered from major trauma and it is very possible that there'll still be consequences" He explained.

"What kind of consequences?" Judy embraced herself in anticipation.

"There's a wide range of them, it can be from simple back pains and sleeping disorders in the future to a chronic decrease of lung capacity, but I've got to be honest… there's also a high chance of paraplegia, temporary or permanent". The surgeon finished with an afflicted tone.

It took me a few seconds to understand the implied message. Quinn might not be able to walk again, solely and exclusively because of me, I was responsible for it. My heart started beating faster and stronger, and the pain inside me was reflected on the corner of my eyes in shape of angry tears. I couldn't move.

"Please doctor, you can't let that happen... she's just 17" Judy cried out and collapsed on a chair with the help of Tina and Mike.

"We're doing everything we can" He assured.

"But clearly not enough!" Everyone turned their faces to the origin of that statement, me. "There's a reason why you've got a degree" my blood was reaching boiling point, he was supposed to do his job right and get Quinn out of that situation.

The surgeon gave me an incredulous look and everyone remained silent for a few seconds.

"Rachel, I think we should go get you some water" Mercedes said and pulled my arm trying to dissemble, but it wasn't necessary, a nurse came running agitated and caught everyone's attention.

"Dr. Wilson you're urgently required in the intensive care unit, it's the Fabray girl" she announced.

"What's wrong with my girl?" Judy snapped at her. The nurse's wide eyes showed that, evidently, she had no idea the woman in front of her was the mother.

"I'll be back with news soon" The doctor promised before starting a sprint and the nurse was quick to follow him, leaving Judy and all of us without a response.

My vision became blurry making me notice that my eyes were completely filled with tears, I couldn't help it and began to mourn with my hands clenched into fists at my sides, my entire body started to tremble.

_If only I hadn't sent her that message..._

A hand grabbed my shaking wrist and forced me to sit in one of the waiting chairs. "Rachel, you need to calm down right now if you don't want to self combust-".

"I can't calm down!" I hastily replied to Santana, who was seated beside me. She crossed her arms annoyed at my response.

"Want a tissue?" Brittany offered flanking my other side. I reluctantly ripped one from the Kleenex package she was holding in front of me.

"I just can't understand how can you be so calm with all that is going on with Quinn, don't you care about her? Haven't you heard the nurse?" I told them in an accusatory manner before wiping the tears from my face even though they didn't stop coming out.

"Don't say that, of course we are worried about her, she's our friend too" Brittany responded and placed a comforting hand in my back.

"Although we have our differences I consider Quinn one of my very few close friends" Santana admitted. "You can't just say we don't care about her by being defensive" She finished.

I was completely torn, partly because I knew that what they said was true, I admit that I was acting unnecessarily defensive with everyone out of anger, but also, the situation was affecting me like nothing else had, and I didn't know why. Only one thing I knew for sure, I was hating myself.

"You know you're not to blame for any of this, right?" Brittany asked like reading my mind.

I chose not to respond and stare at the floor instead.

"Rachel" Santana grabbed my arm and made me face her, "it's-not-your-fault" she said aloud, some people turned to stare at us but she ignored them "Take that stupid idea out of your head, it was an accident. Stop feeling bad about it".

Her statement made me have a moment of realization. It just hit me.

"I'm not like this just because I'm feeling guilty" I muttered to myself.

"What?" her face scrunched, unable to completely listen what I had just said.

I wanted to vanish, being with anyone but myself for a moment.

"I'm sorry" I apologized before getting up and walking towards the restrooms. They just stared at me in awe.

It was a relief that no one else was in there.

I locked myself in one of the vacant stalls and sat on the closed toilet seat, then I allowed myself to cry, no longer out of anger as before, that time out of pain. I had realized that deep inside me, I knew the problem wasn't just an unfortunate text message, of course I was feeling terribly guilty for the fact that somehow I'd caused the accident, but it was so much more than that.

Quinn was the one prostrated in a hospital bed.

Quinn.

I had never got to talk to her. I never got to tell her that I knew how she felt about me. I didn't respond her that at some point, maybe, there could be a small chance for us.

I knew I wasn't in a position to philosophize about my sexuality at that time, but I was certain that I've always cared more about feelings and the inner of a person instead of its physical body. I just never realized what that meant because I'd never felt the need to act on those sentiments.

Quinn was definitely important to me and I cared about her… like more than just as a friend. That moment I knew.

That was why I couldn't forgive myself.

Since I reached that conclusion I lost track of time thinking about all the things that finally made sense. The insatiable desire of becoming her and have everything she had... it was all showing my inner need to be closer to her, to feel myself like her, and somehow, just to feel her. How much time had I lost?

The sound of heels entering the room took me out of that trance. I checked my phone to see the time, half an hour had passed since I had left the waiting room.

"Rachel, are you there?" Judy's voice broke the silence I had become accustomed.

I quickly wiped the traces of tears out of my face with some of the toilet paper from the dispenser and tried to compose myself before answering.

"Ehh... yes, I was about to get back out there" I opened the stall and lied.

"Can you stay a little longer and talk to me?" Her request took me by surprise. It had become very difficult for me to look at Judy's face since last night, how was I supposed to hold a proper conversation with her? "...please" she added.

"Of course" I agreed without having further option. My eyes found hers after a bit of struggle, it wouldn't amaze me if they were equally red at the time.

"I wanted to thank you for staying last night" she started, "I didn't know you and Quinn were that close" a sad smile appeared at her face.

"Don't thank me please, I just really care about her" I honestly answered. Judy nodded and took a few seconds before continuing.

"I heard part of your conversation in the waiting room" She changed the subject, "I want you to know that I don't blame you for what happened, Rachel" she reassured.

I lowered my gaze.

"I'm sure not even Quinn for that matter" She said after lifting my chin up.

"But I do blame myself" the stupid tears made a second appearance in my eyes.

"Why would you blame yourself for something you haven't caused, dear?" she cleaned a few drops from my face.

"Because I should've known better" I replied. I really should have known better.

"Listen to me, Rachel" Judy held my face with both of her hands "There's anything you could've done to prevent this from happening, it was all an unfortunate mix of events and a bad decision from Quinn's side" she stated.

"But I- " I was about to contradict her, but she stopped me.

"I want you to stop feeling miserable about this because I know how much my daughter cares about you" I froze, not just by her words but by the look in her eyes as well. "Quinn and I talked the day before your wedding... I know- I know how she feels about you".

"You know?" I asked in shock.

"Yes" she frowned "and it seems that you too... Did she tell you?" suddenly that was becoming an awkward conversation.

"Not really, I just found out yesterday" I admitted. A concern popped in my head and I couldn't help asking gingerly "are you ok with it?"

"I am" Judy shrugged and lowered her gaze "I just want her to be happy and loved. It's up to her if she chooses a man or a woman to do that".

"I'm glad you see it that way" I thought that being a Christian it would've been difficult for her to accept it, but fortunately not.

"Well, I'm sure Russel won't be so pleased the moment he finds out" she looked at me "He's in the waiting room, he arrived ten minutes ago".

"Quinn's father is here?" my eyes nearly popped out. She nodded. "How did he- Did you call him?"

"I had to. At least now I know he still cares about her" tears started forming in the corner of her eyes even though her face was still calm, but the last thing I wanted was to see her crying again.

"Of course he cares. You did the right thing, Judy" I reassured her and placed a comforting hand in her shoulder. She looked more confident.

"That's good to hear" she wiped away the single tear that escaped her eyes.

"Do you want to go outside and see if there's any news about Quinn?" truth is that the anguish was killing me.

"Sure" she agreed. "But first you need to promise me that you'll stop this nonsense of feeling guilty, and I want you to say it aloud" she quickly recomposed herself and stared at me in expectation.

"I don't think I can do that, Judy" I couldn't say something I didn't feel.

"Yes you can, do it for Quinn, believe me, this is what she wants you to do" she didn't shift her position. With that argument I couldn't deny her anything, and she knew it.

I took a deep breath.

"I promise" I finally said.

Judy motioned for me to continue.

"I promise that I'll do my best to not feel guilty again" That response seemed to satisfy her.

Judy placed one of her arms around my shoulders as we were walking down the hall back to the waiting room. It was amazing and somewhat ridiculous to realize how many things I had learned about myself in a bathroom stall.

Out of nothing, we started to hear yelling, as if someone was trying to pick a fight, so we hasten our steps.

"You're just a bunch of incompetent bastards!" Russel was confronting Dr. Wilson in the middle of the room and I couldn't help but feel embarrassed for my early performance against said doctor.

"Please Mr. Fabray, you need to calm down" He politely tried to restore the quiet environment of the hospital, but Quinn's dad didn't stop his rant.

They continued arguing, or at least Russel did, but I lost interest in them once I stared at everyone else's faces. Some of they were crying and hugging their significant ones and others were completely immobilized and in shock. It could only mean one thing.

Something had happened with Quinn, and it wasn't something good.

"Where's Quinn? Is she ok? ... oh god" Judy asked alarmed noticing the same overwhelming scene as me.

The doctor indicated some male nurses to take charge of Russel before walking towards us with a serious expression.

"I'm sorry to announce this Mrs. Fabray, but Quinn's brain hasn't responded as expected, we have been trying to stimulate her cerebral cortex for the past hour, but there's no activity whatsoever. She's currently in a comatose state".

Judy cringed by hearing that, but never left my side. On the contrary, she supported herself tightly on my shoulders.

And somehow I was still standing even though I had stopped feeling.

* * *

**_William McKinley High School – April 18th, 2012_**

**_Lima, Ohio _**

Carmen Tibideaux's face remained inscrutable.

Kurt had just finished one of his best performances I'd ever had the pleasure to witness, everyone else in the auditorium clapped for him, but she merely took some notes on her pad.

"That was just... beautiful" Blaine, completely moved, congratulated his boyfriend with a hug and a kiss on his cheek.

Kurt thanked him and then turned to face me. It took me a few seconds to realize what I was socially expected to do and then I hugged him as well.

"You did great" I told him sincerely, with the best smile I could manage to put on my face.

"Then you'll do amazing" He reassured me knowing that I might run away off the stage anytime.

Truth is, it took him about three weeks to convince me in not giving up on my NYADA audition.

After Quinn went into a coma, I changed a lot. For better or worse, I didn't know yet. I had lost the enthusiasm on everything the first few weeks, spoke only when necessary and limited myself to just observe. I'd become an expert at observation.

For example, one day while walking down the school hallways I could see the usual ads for Prom King and Queen since prom dance would be a couple of weeks later. It didn't surprise me to find Finn's face in one of them alongside a blonde cheerio, what surprised me was how different I looked at him right then. There was no more prince charming image, all I could see was a good-looking tall boy with a lot of insecurities and an uncertain future. I hadn't bothered on avoid him at school, I wasn't going to spend my energy on that, but apparently he would, because the few times I saw him he turned his back and left. Go figure.

Something else that I'd learned to observe, and I was quite proud of it, was the real way love works.

When Mercedes showed up at school one morning with a recording contract on her hands and screaming that she'd move to California the next year, Sam was the first one to go and celebrate with her. Nevertheless, when she wasn't looking at him, I noticed how his smile changed from a joyful to a sad one, he just knew he had to let her go.

Every day at lunch time Santana and Brittany separated themselves from the rest of the cheerios in the table and placed their open binders over it before Santana started explaining. At first, Brittany's face constantly wrinkled in confusion, but as the days went on, she seemed more confident. It wasn't until I heard them talking by the lockers that I understood. _"Guess who's graduating with her girlfriend this year?" _Brittany asked slyly. Santana squealed, jumped into her arms and circled her waist with her legs. Good thing I couldn't hear what she murmured in Brittany's ears afterwards, because I could swear I'd never seen the blonde girl as blushed.

Before, I never would have noticed those meaningful little moments. But right then, I knew I wanted to have them too.

"Rachel Berry" I heard my name being called by Miss Tibideaux and woke up from my thoughts.

"Make her go craaazy" Kurt sang to cheer me up.

"Good luck" Blaine said and gave me a smile.

I walked the few steps left to reach the center of the auditorium, the anxiety I had disappearing instantly. Once I get there and raised my gaze, somehow, I felt like if I was standing in another dimension, where nothing else existed, just me and the feelings about to be expressed trough the song I would perform.

Everything felt right and perfect, finally.

Upon reaching the last note of the song along with the background music, the few people in the auditorium silently waited a few seconds before clapping their hands loudly. The only exception was Miss Tibideaux, she didn't clap, didn't smile and didn't took any notes on her pad, but a little sparkle on her face made me realize a tear was falling down her cheek.

That day I gave my best rendition to "Don't rain on my parade".

* * *

**_William McKinley High School – May 23rd, 2012_**

**_Lima, Ohio _**

Mr. Schue saw me waiting out the door of the choir room and gave me a pleased smile before turning his gaze to the members of the glee club.

"I have one final announcement to make... I want you to welcome back one of the most valuable members of the New Directions, the heart of our glee club, please give it up for Miss Rachel Berry"

I wasn't ready for such an introduction, but somehow I gathered the courage to walk inside and even a smile appeared on my lips. I had really missed my glee club, it had been three months since I left them.

I was received with applause and lots of hugs, from all of them but Finn, he just remained in his seat trying not to show discomfort but failing incredibly. However, it was very easy for me to set aside his bitterness thanks to the excitement of everyone else.

"We've got Nationals in the bag!" Puck celebrated and all of us cheered up and laughed. That was one of the few moments where I was able to genuinely feel happy after a long time.

"Rachel, can I talk to you for a minute?" Mr. Schue asked me once the meeting finished and everyone was leaving.

"Sure" I walked towards him.

"I want to make a confession" he started once everyone had left, "when you auditioned for NYADA last month, I couldn't help it, I had to sneak and take a little peek".

I just shook my head and held a smile.

"I got to tell you, what you did there was… I can't even find the right words. You've always been amazing, Rachel, but somehow you've grown into such a powerful performer. I'm really proud of you".

"Thank you, Mr. Schue" I doubted about telling him about it, but then decided to share it "I became another person when I was up there. It had never happened to me".

"That's amazing, Rachel, for most performers it takes years of experience to be able to connect with a song at such magnitude..." he was thrilled, "we'll miss you when you move to New York" he assured.

That was one of the main reasons why I didn't want to audition in the first place. I knew I had promised Judy that I would stop with the guilty feelings, but the thought of me achieving all of my dreams while _she_ wasn't even able to open her eyes was extremely painful. Besides, if I was accepted in NYADA, I'd have to stop seeing her.

I couldn't even consider it.

"Rachel?" Mr. Schue asked after not receiving any answer.

"Yes, I... thank you" I quickly replied "I should get going now. Thanks again, Mr. Schue" I could swear I had never left the choir room with such a rush.

* * *

**_St. Rita's Medical Center – June 10th, 2012_**

**_Lima, Ohio _**

"Chicago was great" I started, knowing that I only had one hour left to do the two things I had planned to do there that day, "at least this year we were able to afford five rooms, two for the girls, two for the guys, and one for Mr. Schue and Miss Pillsbury. I was supposed to stay with Santana and Sugar in the same room, but somehow Brittany switched beds with Sugar at 2 am and I just had to get out of there" I let out a chuckle trying to joke, but seeing her motionless and with her life depending on a machine was too much to ignore. I just had to stop for a moment.

I stared down at her only free hand, the right one. Her nails were still perfectly manicured and painted, two days ago I had done them. The new "blue my mind" nail polish I'd purchased made a beautiful contrast with her skin tone. I held it with both of my hands.

"We won Nationals, Quinn... we finally did it" I confessed, my lips joined the conjunction of our thumbs, "we agreed on bringing the trophy here to decorate your room, Figgins allowed it" I smiled for a second, "but I'm sure you'll have to return it pretty soon... right, Quinn?" tears threatened to appear in my eyes so I breathed deeply and moved on to my second task.

I picked up my bag from the floor and put it on my lap. I felt it was heavier than ever even though I'd left most of my books in my locker.

"I know this isn't as important to me as it was before, but I really want to share this moment with you" I opened the zipper and took out a white envelope, it hadn't bent or crumpled at all because the moment I received it I just put it in my bag and left it there.

Kurt hadn't made it.

I'd already decided I wouldn't be going. I just had to know if I was good enough.

"It arrived on the mail this morning, it's from NYADA" I turned the envelope from one side to another a couple of times in my hands before finally opening it.

Before, I would have read ten times every single word, but right then I was in search of a specific one. I gave a quick glance at the letter until I found such word in the second line. Immediately, I folded it back, put it in its envelope, kept it in my bag and tossed it away from me. I stood still.

A minute later, when my heavy breathing calmed down, I slowly got up from the chair and approached the bed headboard to get closer to her.

"I'm sure I won't be the first nor the last one to reject a NYADA acceptance letter" I told her while stroking her soft blonde hair strands.

There was nothing left to say at that time, I had it already decided. I would apply to the Lima Conservatory of Music and attend the acting classes at the local Academy of Dramatic Arts. I would also take a part time job at "The Lima Bean" and go visit Quinn every day, as always, from 3 to 5pm until she wakes.

The plan was to tell everyone I hadn't made it.

"This is the right decision" I told her, secretly trying to convince myself, but all I could imagine in that moment was Quinn desperately telling me otherwise.

I blocked that thought. Just like everytime I asked myself what she would think about my decision.

Instead, another image began to take shape in my mind, my surroundings changed completely, and suddenly, I found myself at Principal Figgins's office, around six months ago. Quinn sat by my side.

"What do you think about Yale?" she asked me, out of nowhere, her eyes with a little spark waiting for my answer.

"Oh, no, I have my sights set on NYADA" the old me, the one who thought everything spun around herself, answered.

"No, for me" she clarified, "I'm not the singer that you and Kurt are, but Yale has an amazing drama program, and I really do like to perform" her excitement was still there, I could sense it.

"Yeah!" was all I said.

Then, the memory finished.

I swear I could have kicked myself in that moment. She was really excited about sharing her decision with me, and I just answered with an empty single word. I would give anything to go back in time and tell her how proud of her I was. I felt powerless.

I looked down at her and couldn't find a better picture that explained how I was feeling.

In that moment I realized that I had done it again. I had gone back to being selfish. Quinn deserved to have an opinion in my decision. She was a big part of it as well. And I knew she couldn't hear me or talk to me, but I knew her... and she knew me.

For eighteen years I'd thought my main purpose in life was becoming a big Broadway star.

Quinn, after all she had been through, had managed to be accepted at Yale, but sadly she wouldn't be able to attend. _Not yet_, I kept in mind.

I really wished she could be able to achieve all of her dreams someday, and all I could imagine was that she felt the same about me.

Giving up on my dreams would be like giving up on Quinn, and I could never do that.

I had to go.

* * *

**I'm sorry about this super sad chapter, it was just necessary. The good news is that I can now update this story at least weekly. Having two jobs it's difficult to find spare time, but I'll definitely continue.**

**If you want to know how much is left until next chapter check it on my profile page, I'll be updating the percentage I have ready so far.**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


End file.
